man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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