At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize