it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
