I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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