they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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