Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Walk of Shame today included voting.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize