the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
