I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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