his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
