I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
