how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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