People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
