Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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