Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
