Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
