Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
