he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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