I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
