but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
