I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
