I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
