I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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