Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize