Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
