I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
