We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
