well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
