I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
