he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
