Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize