Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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