Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i now understand why vodka
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
