my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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