can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
