Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
