I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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