what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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