This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
