Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize