did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
