walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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