You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
