If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
