at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
