he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
