my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
