That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
