I don't think brook has ever known best
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize