Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
