I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
