You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize