I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
