wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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