Im at strip club and am horny
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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