She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am never drinking with the goths again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
