she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
