So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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