wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
