Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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