why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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