what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
