Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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